Friday, May 30, 2008

Food is a Problem

So, I'm hungry right. Happens to everyone- several times daily. Ha. Not so easy for me.

Last night our son had a soccer game, so we had to eat early and get home late. By the time we got home the kid was very ready for bed and we were very hungry. When I get hungry, the choices I make about food become that much more serious. Naturally, hub didn't want to eat any of my bland safe choices, and I wasn't up to cooking two different snacks at 8:30. Plus, I'd been craving fast food for days.

Fast food and I do not mix. It just rarely works out well. Nevertheless, when you can't have it, you want it that much more. So I decided at about 9 to head to Krystal. I know, I know- disgusting you say. Well, clearly you've never had the Ranch Chili Cheese Fries. I was dying for them. I left hub home with the sleeping boy and joined the fast food nation. When I got in line- I couldn't do it. I got hub some food and went home empty handed for myself. It was a total bummer.

There's a part of me that's glad I didn't eat it anyway, because it's so unhealthy. But, there's a bigger part of me that would just really love to eat what I want. I would love to get a craving for something and be able to eat it. Instead I get a craving for something and lament the fact that eating it would make me sick.

That was kind of a bummer.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

From the beginning...

So, this is where it begins I guess. I'm not really sure where I'm going.

I'm 26, with a five year old boy, a husband, and two cats. I'm finishing up my first degree and that's pretty much what I do since my job as a tech support webchat agent got outsourced. That whole outsourcing thing didn't exactly help with my stress. I love my life, and I love being me. I'm very lucky to be sure...I just have this one little thing.

For about a year now, most of what I eat makes me very sick. When I say most of what I eat, I mean all but like 10 really boring and virtually tasteless things- you know mashed potatoes, saltines, bananas. I eat LOTS of bananas. I ate a salad one day and was viscously ill from it and my husband decided it was time to call the doctor. That was two months ago.

I've been healthy all my life. Seriously, the only time I've ever been in the hospital was giving birth, and it was an easy labor. I'm not a fan of medicines, I even gave birth naturally. (Though admittedly, during those last few centimeters I was begging for an epidural.) When all this stomach mess started I was really hesitant to actually call it an illness. You reach a certain point though, where you just can't live like that anymore.

My mother in law has Crohn's disease, and everyone was pretty sure I had it too. That's partly why my hubby was so adamant about seeing a doctor. I had tests...lots of tests...because at first they all looked like Crohn's. Then I had the dreaded colonoscopy. At 26, I had a colonoscopy- that stinks. They went all the way through my large intestine to 10 centimeters into my small intestine. I wasn't really aware they could go that far. They didn't find Crohn's, but they found polyps

At 26, I was tested for colon cancer. That was pretty much an eye opener. You know, with stomach issues like this, the tendency is to feel like you're just being difficult (which I tend to be), or you're just being sensitive (that's sometimes me too), or that there's really no way you can get sick that often from food (we're talking pretty darn close to daily). When all the tests were done, IBS was the winner, and I was the lucky loser.

It turns out I have some abnormalities in my small intestine, IBS, and some really bad acid reflux issues. Fun times. I'm still sick when I eat most things, and now I take lots of pills each day. If I take my pills and eat, like, nothing fun, then I can get through the day for the most part. The exception to that is if I have a lot going on and something crazy comes up...

I have a five year old and I'm in my last semester of school- something always comes up. It's not that I'm stressed (I'm not), I'm just busy- and that makes my stomach irritable. Me, my stomach, and food- we're not friends right now.

So that's me...and this is me trying to deal with it all. I hope someone reads this and maybe wants to share. I can't say that I'll post regularly, because right now I'm just trying to not feel sick all the time.